Kathy

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5-4-2022

“Please be happy. I’m all right. You’re all right. Everybody is all right…”spoke the almost silent whisper in my head, though louder than before. It was her because I never talk like that. I’d been feeling guilty, naturally. As if there were something wrong with feeling more like the man she always saw in me [...]

The Deed Is Done Pt. 1

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At the Keota Cemetery the evening before the burial. Oh that face.

“Hi, I’m the digger,” the big guy said as I arrived at the cemetery in Keota, Iowa a little before noon on April 5, 2022, one year to the day since Kathy died. He looked the part. (I wasn’t dressed like in the image above. That would be the day before, when I pulled in [...]

Urn Walk

burial urn in snow

Before it snows again

The trip is on, the one I thought I’d make last fall, all the way to Keota, Iowa and the hillside cemetery where Crooked Creek runs through the woods. But the marker is finally in place beside her parents’ stone and I can place the urn myself. I’ve hired a grave digger name of Dennis [...]

I guess they know. Ten days ago I decided for the hundredth time to go on living and went for a drive. At least I knew where I wanted to go and had a mission. Dropping a thousand feet down off the mesa to the bottom of the canyon of the Rio Grande at Pilar [...]

For Kathy

JHF at Ute Mountain

Opening the heart

“Oh Lord,” I yelped as I came around the bend. The road was nearly blocked by half-buried rocks the size of watermelons. I hit the brakes, pulled the Dakota into low, and did the best I could climbing over big black chunks of lava from the Pleistocene. The constant pitching left and right had already [...]

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