marriage

Homing in

If you see sweet Kathy bring her home to me if she feels like waitin’ best let her be does she know I’m comin’ will she wait for me do we live forever is it meant to be Something prompted me to make this video last week. The soundtrack is an instrumental version of a [...]

TAOS Valley Overlook

Northwest across the gorges from Rift Valley Trail

The energy here is impossible to grasp. Tectonic plates oh so slowly sliding past each other on a bed of magma miles beneath your feet. How can one be sure of anything that’s merely human? I’m still incredulous. She can’t be gone and yet where is she? I go to bed, turn out the light, [...]

We Goddamn Did It

Kathy

Ask me if I know those feet (amost 20 years ago in Arroyo Seco)

Gone now 50 days. Until Wednesday afternoon, I still couldn’t call Verizon to cancel her phone. Shutting it down felt like having her die all over again. The love’s still roaring out and rending body parts. We goddamn did it though, you know? I’m proud. Do you hear what I’m saying? My hand fits perfectly [...]

Gift of Life (Missing You Baby) post image

Kathy knew what she was doing, I’m convinced of that. Somewhere deep down inside herself, she did. There’s so much I haven’t told. Maybe I shouldn’t. But I want to write at least a little. It’s important. She stopped driving a couple years ago, for one thing, and I was glad she did. Chalk it [...]

old adobe

Goddammit all to hell

The fear came back. The kinds of things that woke me up at night before she had the goddamn stroke and suddenly I cared too much to worry. Even when she died, I didn’t cry. Not the last few hours. Not after I realized that might make it hard for her to let go, and [...]

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