The Great Dissolve

Taos sunset

Yesterday, before the April snow

Something is going on. A panic has departed. My brain is working differently. There’s a qualitative difference. I don’t quite know how to tell you, but it’s like discovering this trust and now it’s got me. I think I caught it hiking on the mesa by the gorge.

My father used to measure everything. There had to be a template he could use to pare his expectations. That’s why he freaked out when he floated off outside his body during chemo. A clearer pre-death message no one could have wished for, and he blew it, sort of. But what does the entire experience imply?

Whatever it is we call “the heart” can handle this. For example, for most of my entire life, I’ve been obsessed with where to live and what to do, or was it what to do and where?!? Okay, I was an Air Force brat, we moved a lot; just writing that messes me up all over again, but somehow I got this far anyway. Plainly put, I’m being helped. Don’t ask by whom or what or how. But since I am, I can trust my intuition. There are no “right” or “wrong” choices to be made, only going after what I want.

You probably figured this out years ago, but no one in my parent’s generation would ever have agreed. Looks like it’s never too late to trust myself. Well, well…

[dissolve: noun (as in a movie) – an act or instance of moving gradually from one picture to another.]

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John Hamilton Farr lives in Taos, New Mexico, U.S.A. with his classical pianist wife. “Possibly the only place I can get away with this,” he says. As New York Times best-selling author James C. Moore (Bush’s Brain) put it in a review of John’s first book, Buffalo Lights is the work of a man attuned to the world who sees it differently than you and I and writes about it with a language and a vision of life that is impossible to ignore.” John is the author of BUFFALO LIGHTS, TAOS SOUL, ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE, and THE HELEN CHRONICLES. He has been publishing online since 1996 (Zoo Zone, Farr Site, MacFaust, GRACK!, FarrFeed) and blogs regularly here at JHFARR.COM. See also → John’s Twitter profile, Amazon Author Page, video channel at YouTube, and website photos at SmugMug. To email John, please see CONTACT INFO on About page.  

  • Rita April 14, 2014, 12:45 PM

    Bloom where you are planted. Apparently.

    • JHF April 14, 2014, 3:33 PM

      Okay to stay, okay to go.

  • christian ienni April 14, 2014, 1:57 PM

    i did kinda figure it out quite a while ago, but of course figuring it out and actually getting around to DOING SOMETHING about it are two different things… 😉

    oh and by the way, that photo: WOW! that is a hell of a thing 😀

    • JHF April 14, 2014, 3:34 PM

      Not faked in Photoshop, either. Minor tweaks for color accuracy, that’s all.

  • Rita April 14, 2014, 4:48 PM

    Yes. That is a great shot. I feel like I am in it. Amazing.

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