Truer Words

old truck in Taos, NM

The metaphors write themselves

“We have to find a house!” she said. “If we don’t move, we’re going to die…” That’s the stage we’re at now, very handy for focusing the mind. I knew precisely what she meant. The meanness and tension alone would do the trick, accumulated hits that break you just for being here at all.

Take a look at my truck. A hydraulic line ruptured while it was just sitting there, apparently. As soon as I backed it out the other day, I had no pedal pressure. Getting the F-150 turned around 100 yards down the twisty narrow road was interesting but I did, and where you see it is where it stays until I give the thing away. We’ve been a lot of places, that truck and I, but this is where the story ends, down a muddy old road with a dark ancient vibe. Shamans’ curses and bulldozed sacred spots. Subliminal sadness. Suffering without cause. A trick, a metaphor that binds you to a fate, or perhaps the ghosts are trapped and want the company.

This is the strangest Christmas. Send me wings or gasoline, and pumpkin pie.

  • vicky Zillioux December 22, 2016, 9:13 AM

    somehow those old trucks and cars and all the memories with them makes them friends and you hate to see them go.

    • JHF December 22, 2016, 10:55 PM

      That one never let me down, not really. I knew it was about to “die,” by which I mean develop a need for repair that would far outstrip its value. It was a great truck for a long time.

  • Marti Fenton December 22, 2016, 8:21 PM

    Rebirth doesn’t always require a new body. Better to shed the old skin and put it to rest. Leave it at the place where the truck died and move on while there is a spark left. Isn’t that what Christmas is? The solstice is about faith that the light and warmth will come back and its time to start celebrating their return.

    • JHF December 22, 2016, 11:03 PM

      Christmas is about the solstice, yes, or Christian doctrine piggy-backed upon it. Absolutely. Fire (light), greenery, grain god reborn in the spring (Easter!), etc. As for this location and the truck, getting out of here requires exactly that: leaving the old skin here and being born again.

  • M.J. December 24, 2016, 5:37 PM

    I feel your sadness, my car passed on this Christmas also. It has put a hole in my heart for that was my wandering machine. Moving on, wishing you and your honey have a Merry Christmas and hope the New Year brings happiness and good health, and a new door to open!

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