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House Getter

dangerous mystical art device

Now the gods know we mean business

Behold the glorious new day! Just before I’m dead, I come into my own. Anyone can do this, you don’t have to be a fucking kid. (More on that stuff later.) And see? I’ve gone completely native, too. They said it couldn’t happen, but it did. Good God, are we ever doomed.

But no, behold I say! (Was he not listening?) The power of the magic! A new way to get a home so we can finally have all our stuff together and throw it out and start over with two motorcycles and a mule! After consulting with the Black Madonna, I’ve activated a dangerous mystical art device to draw a house to us instead of poking listings with a stick, as if I’d ever trust them anyway.

The cast bronze bell is something I rescued from a tangle of vines outside the dead landlord’s apartment. Attached to the clapper with black twine from my late aunt’s house in Maine is a strip of cedar marked with symbols. The bell rings when the wind blows hard and tosses the wood around. The other two inscribed cedar strips hang from the same black twine and flail about as well, clacking against the tree. Ding-clack-ding-clack and the call goes out! The markings on the wood are strong: pictographs for home and mountains, a zia sign, a symbol from a special dream. The tree itself is growing just outside the old adobe and has lifted up the stucco. Yes, that is a gas line running along the wall. Big medicine all around.

As I write this at 2:00 a.m., the wind is howling from the northwest and has been for some time. Most likely everything in the photo has blown down, but I will resurrect it in the morning. This ain’t no namby-pamby bullshit! I’m going to have to watch my head. A perfect house could fall right out of the sky. It’s on the way now and it’s hungry. Help me, Lord, I’ve gone and done it now for sure.

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  • M.J. February 20, 2014, 8:44 AM

    At first, I thought the wooden objects were bacon. Ha! Bring home the bacon. That would work! You are funny. That bell is expensive, I have one similar, be sure the inside part is hooked on tight. I lost mine had to send for a replacement, and I flipped out on how much it cost. I know you could make one because of your talents and skills. Hope your mojo works soon and your honey will be decorating.

    • JHF February 20, 2014, 4:05 PM

      I’m open to most anything. This morning at breakfast, a friend mentioned Port Townsend, WA, a place I’ve fanatasized about before for some reason. (Probably water and boats…) So I just wasted a good hour looking at real estate in Port Townsend. Lots cheaper than here, actually. Also damp. :-) But we’ll see what the mojo brings.

  • terri February 20, 2014, 8:29 PM

    John, the bell is a cast ‘windbell’ from the VERY COOL Paolo Soleri foundry in Arcosanti, outside of Tucson. Cool you got that for free because they are expensive. http://www.cosanti.com/ Mano mano. Good for you.

    • JHF February 20, 2014, 8:37 PM

      Cool! Looks like about sixty bucks originally. The triangular vane thingie originally attached to the clapper is gone, but I’ll dig around in the weeds some more, now that I see what it looks like. I just liberated this a couple of weeks ago. It was hidden behind a dead plum tree and a tough mat of vines of some kind.

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